Dear God,

Happy New Year. No doubt you’ve come up with another blinder. Sorry, probably not a great word to choose but you know what I mean.

First, just to say I think everything you’ve done to date has been great. I know a lot of people get upset by famine, disease, wisdom teeth and whathaveyou but I think I understand your logic behind that (thanks for my Geography degree by the way – really useful!).

Listen, I know you’re busy so I’ll cut to the chase. With the greatest respect it has occurred to me that perhaps we don’t need January any more. Maybe up North and perhaps in the Southern hemisphere (good work there too – love the mangos!) but, in Southern England, I’m wondering if we could have 2 Mays or 2 Julys instead. I think it would mean a lot more happy people, better energy and karma and so on, to share around.

It’s only an idea and please believe me I’m not questioning your Divine Logic. If it’s necessary to keep things as they are that’s fine. If not, give me the nod (or similar) and I’ll set the wheels in motion.

If there’s anything I can do in return, just let me know. I promise I’ll return that library book first thing on Monday, I won’t read the Daily Mail and I’ll continue to buy the Big Issue.

Once again, thanks for everything.

Cheers,

Dorian

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